I have Learn't

I Have Learnt

That the odd sock you lose in the wash always 
falls out your tracksuit at the supermarket.

That the car doing 40km/h in front of you will exceed 
the speed limit when you reach an overtaking lane.

That even a mosquito doesn't get a slap on the back 
until he starts to work.

That whenever I go on a diet someone always 
buys me chocolate.

When a woman says the car is making a strange noise, 
it's her imagination, but when a man says the same thing, 
he's a knowledgeable mechanic.

When you have children, there is no such thing 
as a quick trip to the shops.

Insurance covers everything - except what happens.

Don't hide the chocolate in the washing machine.

The opposite of love is not hate 
but indifference.

Someone will always get a "call of nature" 
the minute you have finished making the loo sparkle.

The harder it is to understand the menu, the 
higher the prices.

Someone will always knock on the door 
when you are yelling at your kids.

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